Tag Archives: Therapist

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ADHD, Counseling, Fear, Mindful Parenting, Mindfull Parenting, Parenting, Parenting Skills, Therapy, , , , , ,

 

IMG_3103I spoke with a man outside of my office while at a local place of business.  He asked what I did for work.  After telling him, he was very interested on my take about a personal situation.  This is not uncommon for people in my field.

This man shared with me the issues he’s been facing with his young son who has a lot of energy.  He said a lot of people have labeled his son ADHD.  So naturally, he was very interested in my take on ADHD.  He commented, “It’s kind of a fad isn’t it”.  I don’t really have a lot to say to that statement.  Is it a fad?  I do remember a time when it seemed like it was the go to diagnosis for kids who had a difficult time with focus, but I was just getting into the field at that time.

Heck, I had to ward off people who would haphazardly diagnose me with ADHD… (Admittedly, it’s taken a long time to write this post).

He told me that his kid’s teachers have told him he’s got ADHD and friends have done internet ADHD checklists on his behalf.  In all honesty, with what he was sharing it seemed his son was a strong candidate for a psychiatric visit.  “What?”  “Meds??” “People are always going to medication as the answer?”  HA! There’s a can of worms I don’t want to open.  Listen, I could tell he was not open to hearing that and I bet he had heard it enough times before.  So this brings us to the point of my post today.

Taking the Lame out of the Name

I got a sense from this man that he was suspicious of the label, ADHD.  It appeared to me his suspicions was keeping him from seeking professional help.  How many of you are/or have been guarded yourselves with a diagnosis label?  Labels in itself have good and bad effects on people.  Any diagnosis given to a child has a risk of being “type cast”.   Ask kids in Special Ed classes.  However, what if you did find out there was a problem and it had a name?  Would it matter all the same if this label had a solution that decreased the severity of the problem?

This is what is important, getting the best possible assistance for your family.

PS- If it will help, stop calling diagnosis’ a problem and call it a challenge.

 

Weekly Wisdom

Pride is deaf to wisdom

From a Child’s mouth

“I haven’t lied because there hasn’t been anything to lie about”

Bless the Child

Mindful Parenting, Mindfull Parenting, Parenting, Parenting Skills, Self-Control, , , , , ,

 

IMG_0139-1580x11851.jpgI had a discussion with a parent about comments a parent makes about their child.  The comments could be out of frustration, a statement of opinion, or thought to be an innocent tease.  I put it into two easy categories: Positive and Negative.

I recommend you to record yourself talking about your kid/s to people over a period of time.  What do you hear?  I admit there is no way we could always be on our best behavior when we feel frustrated by some of the baffling choices kids make (even the adult children).  How many parents’ necks are sore from shaking their head at these hair-brained children?

I know I challenged my parents, and even as an adult I’ve behaved childishly.  They should be wondering how was I able to make any type of success.  Guess what, they’re not and if they have I certainly hadn’t heard it from them.  That’s very important! The words my parents spoke to me were affirming no matter what I was doing.  Yes, I was disciplined.  My rear tasted the leather and wood of corporal punishment, but never did I hear a disparaging word from them.  The sting of a belt or paddle subsides pretty fast but a critical word can echo for years in a child’s brain.

I’m going to give you two more words: Blessings and Curses.

Do you want to curse your child?  Wish the worst on them?  I seriously doubt you do, but negative talk to your child has repercussions that are very close to cursing them.  In ancient times and in some cases present time its tradition for the father to pass on his blessings to his child.  What is the significance of this?  You do the research. However, I will pass this on to you.  There is energy in a blessing that can propel a young person into great prosperity.  As I understand it, there is a research done regularly at the Harvard University on success.  I will paraphrase the study; those who were successful were asked a series of questions.  One of the common denominators was the graduates who were successful wrote their goals down.  Now what does this have to do with parenting?

Pretty simple, positive outlook creates a positive checkbook.

PS:  It also matters what you say even when your child is not around because of the mindset you maintain regularly is what you present when they are around.

 

Words of Wisdom

Positive Outlook creates a Positive Checkbook

Out of Child’s Mouth

Me: “Do you play with American Girl dolls?”

C: “No, my mom says they’re too expensive… and they’re creepy!”

Me: “Creepy?”

C: “They stare at you all night”

My First Blog

Counseling, Mindfull Parenting, Parenting, Therapy, , , ,

Daniel Bolg 1

Like all of my sessions I will begin with personalities.  It is fundamentally important to know who you are involved with.  The function of the personality isn’t to label a person or disable a person.  It is used to help recognize the viewpoint they hold.  A person’s personality can be described like a well of which a person draws water.  Its water, but it may have a different taste.   At this point I will have to disclose that I tend to use a lot of word pictures to describe what I’m saying and not all of them will be an accurate use of the analogy.  As I was saying, I typically use the first 2 to 3 sessions teaching on personality.  There have been some cases when doing this made the difference that corrected the problem.  However, that is not always the case.  I recommend doing your own research on personalities.  The most accepted one is Myers Briggs Type Indicator.  There is the oldest one called “The Four Temperaments”: Choleric, Sanguine, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. 

The one I use, which was developed by Dr. Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent using animal characteristics: Lion, Otter, Beaver, Golden Retriever.  I have created a template that takes all four into account.

Weekly Wisdom

Accept your past, Accept your present, Dream your Future.

Analogy

Progress can be like a pinball, you have to be pulled back before you can be launched.

From a child’s mouth

Me: “I love your honesty”

K: “I hate it…being honest and nice is disgusting”

This blog will be a weekly installment of my work in my sessions without breaking confidentiality, exploiting my clients, or knowingly using another person’s intellectual property.