Who has gone round and round with their child trying to explain, “why”. Did they ever stop and say, “Ah, I get it. Thanks, I will do what you say?” Good for you if that has happened. You don’t need to read any further. For those that are not fortunate please let me help.
Stand in one spot and just spin. Don’t hold me liable if you hurt yourself…actually don’t try it. Just imagine what you may feel like if you did. You get dizzy and if you’re like me you get a little sick in your stomach (I blame Six Flags for the weak stomach). I will loosely compare that physical reaction to spinning to what it is like going in circles with a child who doesn’t want to listen and will do anything to keep you from that goal.
“Why”
“Other kids don’t have to”
“You’re the only parent who does that”
“You don’t love me”
“(insert one yourself)”
Most people feel they need to answer. It doesn’t work. I wonder if this is where the classic comment of, “Because I said so” came from. Rarely does the child want to know the answer or care what you have to say. The main purpose is to distract and avoid until you’re flustered and even discouraged. Does it cause you to doubt if you’re a good parent or maybe even frustrate you to the point of feeling angry and losing your temper?
How do you get them to follow your instruction and to stop wasting your time with questions when they don’t like the answers? What are the parenting books saying? There are some good ideas out there.
Until you’re able to do your own research, I want to give you a simple thought. What would happen if you just stayed calm, ignored the question and repeated the direction?
Don’t get into the dialogue just stay with the direction
What if your focus stayed on the direction you are giving your child and you choose to not answer their question until later? Maybe it’s not so bad to wait till the evening or next day before you discuss with them the reasons behind your instruction.
I’m curious how many kids would still be interested in having the answer?
Words of Wisdom
“Never complain, never explain. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or make excuses.”
― Brian Tracy
From a Child’s Mouth
“I don’t have to lose well, because I always win”