This is a temptation to tell your child, “I won’t do that unless you start to behave”.  We want to make a big impression on the child hoping to change the behavior or to get them to recognize how bad they are behaving.

I’ve heard parents say they feel like they are letting the child win, especially if the behavior is disrespectful.   It can be very difficult to engage in something that may be positive time with a child when the behavior doesn’t warrant it.

When a parent tries to threaten by taking away a positive activity it alters the relationship between parent and child.  The parent is removing an important building block of connection between the parent and the son or daughter.

Behavior change can be tied into respect.  Respect can be tied to into trust.  Trust can be tied into relationship.

Identify what your relationship moments are with your child that can be considered sacred time.  No matter what the behavior is these moments should not be affected.  It is good to have a list of those activities next to the list of appropriate consequences so when you’re angry you are reminded that this list is sacred.